There’s no wrong place to start. There are just better and worse questions to ask first.

The options are overwhelming — different shapes, materials, functions, price points, and more acronyms than you asked for. That’s not an accident. The intimate wellness industry grew faster than it educated, which means most people are navigating their first purchase with very little useful information and a lot of noise.

This guide cuts through it. Not every feature matters equally — and for a first purchase, most of them don’t matter at all. Here’s what does.

Start With One Question: Where?

Before you look at a single product, figure out what kind of stimulation you’re looking for. Everything else — shape, size, power, price — flows from this.

External stimulation

External products are designed for use on the outside of the body. Clitoral stimulation, the vulva, other erogenous zones. This is where most people start, and for good reason: external products are simpler to use, easier to find the right fit with, and require less trial and error.

• Bullet vibrators — small, focused, good for pinpoint stimulation. The most beginner-friendly option on the market.
• Wand massagers — broad surface area, deeper rumbling vibrations. More powerful and versatile.
• Clitoral suction toys — air-pulse technology that creates suction rather than vibration. A different sensation category entirely.

Internal stimulation

Internal products are designed to be inserted vaginally or anally. Shape matters more here than size — different curves target different areas.

• G-spot vibrators — curved to reach the anterior wall of the vagina, where the G-spot is located.
• Dildos — penetration without vibration, often used for texture or temperature play.
• Anal toys — always designed with a flared base for safety. Non-negotiable feature for anything used anally.

Both

Dual-stimulation products offer internal and external sensation simultaneously. These are more complex to use well and less forgiving if the fit isn’t right — which is why they’re generally not the best starting point. Build toward them.

• Rabbit vibrators — the classic: an insertable shaft with an external arm for clitoral stimulation.
• Wearable vibrators — hands-free, designed for use solo or with a partner.

Not sure what you want? Start external. An external product tells you a lot about your preferences without requiring you to have figured them out first.

Material Is Not Optional

The material your product is made from determines whether it can be properly cleaned, how long it lasts, and whether it’s actually safe to use against sensitive tissue. There are no federal regulations governing intimate product materials, which means the burden of knowing what to look for falls on you.

The short version: non-porous materials are safe. Porous materials are not reliably safe.

Non-porous — the ones to buy

• Medical-grade silicone — body-safe, hypoallergenic, durable, easy to clean. The most common material in quality products. Always use water-based lubricant with silicone — silicone-based lubricants degrade the material.
• Borosilicate glass — non-porous, temperature-responsive, easy to sterilize. More fragile, but one of the cleanest materials available.
• Stainless steel — firm, heavy, completely non-porous, virtually indestructible. Excellent for temperature play.
• ABS hard plastic — non-porous when medical-grade quality. Less luxurious feel but safe and easy to clean.

Porous — the ones to avoid

Jelly rubber, PVC, TPR, TPE, and any material that isn’t explicitly identified are porous. That means microscopic openings in the surface that trap bacteria and body fluids even after cleaning — and cannot be fully sanitized. Many of these materials also contain phthalates, chemical plasticizers with documented health concerns.

If a product doesn’t clearly state its material, that’s information. Reputable brands always disclose what they’re selling you. We cover material safety in more depth in our body-safe materials guide, and cleaning and care in detail in our product care guide.

Size: The Industry Gets This Wrong

Bigger is not better. This is one of the most consistent pieces of misinformation in the category, and it leads a lot of first-time buyers to products that don’t work for them.

For internal products, girth matters more than length. For most beginners, starting on the slimmer side is the right call — you can always add to your collection, but you can’t make a product smaller once you own it.

For external products, size matters much less. A small bullet vibrator can be significantly more powerful than a product three times its size, depending on the motor quality. If you’re uncertain: choose smaller. The adjustment in the other direction is always available to you.

Power: Rechargeable vs. Battery, and Why It Matters

Motor quality is one of the most significant quality differences between price points — and one of the least discussed.

Rumbling vs. buzzy vibrations

Lower-frequency, rumbling vibrations tend to feel deeper and more satisfying for most people. Higher-frequency, buzzy vibrations are surface-level and can feel numbing over time. Rumbling vibrations are generally associated with better-quality motors and higher price points. This is one of the clearest cases where price and quality correlate.

Rechargeable vs. battery-operated

• Rechargeable (USB or magnetic) — more powerful, typically quieter, often waterproof, better long-term value. The right choice for a primary product.
• Battery-operated — lower upfront cost, no charging needed. A reasonable entry point for testing a style before investing more.

One practical note on noise: rechargeable products with quality motors tend to run significantly quieter than battery-operated ones. If discretion matters to you, it’s worth factoring in.

Quick Decision Guide

Still not sure where to start? Here’s the short version.

I’m completely new and want to keep it simple.

Start with:  A bullet vibrator in medical-grade silicone.

Why:  Low commitment, easy to use, helps you learn what you like without over-investing.

I want powerful external stimulation.

Start with:  A rechargeable wand massager.

Why:  Deep rumbling vibrations, versatile for full-body use, very hard to get wrong.

I want to explore internally.

Start with:  A slim curved G-spot vibrator.

Why:  Designed specifically for internal stimulation. Start slim if you’re new to internal products.

I want both internal and external.

Start with:  A rabbit vibrator — but only after you know what you like externally.

Why:  Dual stimulation requires more precision to use well. Build toward it.

I’m on a budget.

Start with:  A rechargeable bullet from a brand that discloses its materials.

Why:  Price and quality correlate — but a good entry-level product exists at most price points if you know what to look for.

The Bottom Line

Your first purchase doesn’t have to be your best purchase — it just has to be a safe one. Body-safe materials, honest labeling, and a product that matches where you actually are (not where you think you should be) will get you further than any specific recommendation.

The best intimate wellness product is the one that fits your body, your preferences, and your experience level. Not someone else’s. Start there, and the rest follows.

→ Browse our full collection — every product is body-safe, every description is accurate, and there’s no pressure to buy anything you’re not ready for.

Related Reading

How to Choose a Body-Safe Vibrator: A Woman’s Guide
How to Clean and Care for Your Intimate Products
Why Body-Safe Materials Matter More Than You Realize